would i be at the U as a Soc major if i'd have really searched my heart? did I ask and wait rightly in asking for God to speak and lead? or am I so sorta estranged to myself that I still can't state one job, career, or field I feel called to?

should i be scolding myself for this? begging for God to call me to social work or teaching or culinary school and just put myself in more school accordingly...i hate that idea right now. i want so desperately to finish in a year and get a job and MOVE OUT and get married and have kids. that's what i want and i want a job that i'm good at and will enjoy and correspond to my passions.

i think my view about this is very patrick dodson-y merged with my dad's experience/teaching to me.

i want a job where i have the opportunity to show compassion to others. to be a leader for others. to have responsibilities that i enjoy fulfilling. where i am intellectually challenged and can challenge others to think critically about the place we all are in. a non-white majority environment. a not super stressful and controlling boss with corporate standards and pressure to be perfect all the time. one that provides an opportunity to help the poor. one where i can be challenged to be creative and encourage others to think outside the box, their limited scope of the world, and challenge them to care about the WORLD, not just themselves.

Psalm 48:14: For this God is our God for ever and ever. He will be our guide even to the end.

Well, that's good news.